The Art of Influence
Influence isn’t about manipulation; it’s about building relationships, establishing trust, and creating a network of people who believe in you and your ideas. It’s like being a Master Jedi of the office: wise, trusted, and a little mysterious. True influence is subtle yet powerful, not unlike a gentle nudge that leads the team in the right direction without them even realizing they’ve been pushed in a certain direction. Rebel leaders understand that real influence is built on a foundation of respect and credibility, not fear or coercion.
Five Techniques to Master the Art of Influence:
1. Build Relationships: The most powerful tool in your influence arsenal is relationships. Let’s face it, you will be spending at least a third of your day, almost every day with the people in your organization so why would you not want to get to know them? I am not saying you have to be best friends or drinking buddies with everyone, but I do recommend getting to know your colleagues, your boss, and even the people in other departments. It’s not about collecting LinkedIn connections like Pokémon cards; it’s about genuinely understanding people and building rapport. When you know what makes someone tick, you can tailor your approach to fit. Influence grows naturally from mutual respect and understanding. It’s like networking but with more coffee, less awkward small talk, and, ideally, no name tags. Remember, people are more likely to help out a friend than a stranger, so make as many friends as you can!
2. Show Your Value: I’ve said it before and will say it again, “Actions speak louder than words.” Demonstrate your value by consistently delivering results, being reliable, and going the extra mile. The phrase, “you live and die by the team”, has always stuck with me from my career in the military. In many ways that is true in any organization. When people see that you’re a competent, trustworthy team player, your influence will naturally grow and your team will accomplish results. Think of it as building a reputation for being the go-to person when things need to get done- like the office version of Batman, no cape required but always equipped with a cool utility belt. The more you prove your capability, the more others will seek out your opinion, and the more sway you’ll have in decision-making processes (Kouzes & Posner, 2012). It’s a bit like creating a highlight reel of your best work, but instead of uploading it to social media, you’re quietly broadcasting it through your actions.
3. Be a Good Listener: Influence isn’t just about talking; it’s about listening. Embody a “your voice matters’ mantra backed up by action and people will follow you to any solar system. Pay attention to what others are saying and take time to understand their perspectives. When people feel heard and valued, they’re more likely to be open to your ideas. Plus, listening can give you valuable insights into what motivates your colleagues, what concerns they have, and where your ideas might fit in. It’s like being a detective if Sherlock Holmes had a desk job and really good coffee.
4. Leverage Reciprocity: The principle of reciprocity is simple: when you do something nice for someone, they feel inclined to return the favor (Cialdini, 2006). Rebel leaders know how to use this to their advantage, and not in an evil manipulative way. By helping others, offering support, or sharing valuable information, they create a sense of “indebtedness”. It’s not about keeping score; it’s about building a network of mutual support so that the team overall can GSD. Over time, these small acts of kindness add up, giving you a solid base of allies who are willing to back you up when you need it. If you help others, most will reciprocate.
5. Stay Authentic: People are not stupid and can sense a fake person from a mile away. To be truly influential, you have to be authentic. Be yourself. Be honest and be consistent. By the way, if you are a narcissistic jerk-face, you might want to reconsider who you are and what you stand for. Authenticity builds trust, and trust is the bedrock of influence (Goffee & Jones, 2005). Rebel leaders don’t try to be something they’re not. They know that their genuine self is their greatest asset. Authenticity isn’t about spilling your deepest secrets or being overly familiar; it’s about showing that you’re human, fallible, and real. When people see that you’re not putting on a façade, they’re more likely to connect with you and be influenced by you.
Mastering the art of influence is like having the Force at your fingertips. It’s not about overpowering others but leading with integrity by building genuine relationships and demonstrating your value. When you combine these elements, you create a powerful presence that inspires others to follow your lead. Like Yoda, your influence should be felt, not in your face, and it should guide others to an enlightened way of thinking.
I encourage you to check out my other book recommendations or The Frontlines to support other Veterans. They have an awesome selection of military-themed shirts, mugs, and posters at The Frontlines shop—and don’t miss all the great stuff we’ve got on sale right now! The Frontlines Shop