There’s a line I keep coming back to:
Comfort zones are usually where good ideas go to die.
We’re all told some version of the same script growing up:
Play it safe.
Don’t make waves.
Pick the predictable path.
Stick to the plan.
And sure, that kind of thinking keeps you out of trouble.
But it also keeps you from anything meaningful.
Most people eventually learn the same lesson:
safety and satisfaction rarely live in the same neighborhood.
If you’ve ever stared at the ceiling at 2AM sensing you’re built for more, you already know what I mean. Comfort stops feeling like comfort. It starts feeling like you’re playing small. And that quiet fear you feel? Sometimes it’s trying to guide you somewhere uncomfortable but necessary.
The Lie We All Get Sold
We’re raised to believe “safe” means “smart.”
But more often, “safe” just means small.
And small slowly turns into suffocating.
Here’s the thing we don’t like to admit out loud:
The decision that scares you might be the exact one you need to make.
I didn’t learn that from a leadership course.
I learned it from my kids.
The Moment That Broke My Compass Open
Both of my children came into our family through adoption.
It’s one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and one of the scariest.
There’s no handbook.
No guarantees.
No perfect timing.
You just leap. And you hope.
I remember one night when my daughter was little. I was absolutely drained. You’ve been there… the kind of tired that gets into your bones. Worried I wasn’t doing enough. Worried I wasn’t enough. Worried about everything.
Out of nowhere, she looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes and said:
“Daddy, did I tell you today I love you?”
That one sentence hit harder than any leadership seminar, deployment debrief, or boardroom “challenge question” ever could.
Kids don’t care about your rank or your résumé.
They care that you show up — especially when you’re scared.
That was the moment something clicked:
The direction that scares you is usually the one that shapes you.
Not because it’s dramatic.
Not because it’s risky.
But because it forces you to grow into the person the moment requires.
Fear Isn’t a Stop Sign
Here’s what rebel-minded leaders understand:
If your stomach flips at the thought of doing something meaningful, it doesn’t automatically mean “danger.”
A lot of the time, it’s a signal.
That “oh sh*t” whisper?
That’s potential pushing against the walls of your comfort zone.
If a path feels too safe, odds are someone else already walked it.
If it scares you in a good way, it might be the thing that was made for you.
The Compass Shift
Your internal compass shouldn’t point to what’s easy.
It should point to what matters.
Ask yourself questions that actually reveal something:
• Am I scared because this is wrong, or because it’s real?
• Will this stretch me into someone I want to become?
• One year from now, will I wish I had done this?
This isn’t about chasing adrenaline or being reckless.
This is about choosing purpose over comfort — and owning the hill you’re willing to climb.
When Fear Means “Stop,” Not “Go”
Not all fear is the same.
Some fear is just misalignment.
Some is burnout.
Some is your intuition waving a red flag.
Quick guide I use:
Fear of judgment → growth zone
Fear of being inadequate → growth zone
Fear because something feels “off” → pause
Fear from exhaustion → recover before moving
Learning which one you’re feeling is the real compass work.
When You’re Not Scared—Just Numb
Sometimes you hit a different wall.
You’re not afraid… just flat.
No spark. No direction.
That usually means you’ve been “safe” for too long.
Your compass didn’t break—it just went quiet.
Try this:
1. Make a list of five things that scare you in a good way.
2. Circle the one that makes your pulse pick up.
3. Start there— even if the first step is tiny.
Fear has a way of waking you up again.
Final Thought
You weren’t built to follow someone else’s map… that’s not why God made you.
Rebel leaders draw their own.
That edge you keep avoiding?
Yeah—that one.
That’s where the growth is.
That’s where the real mission begins.
That’s where you begin.
And that’s where rebel leaders live.
Book release is December 24th. Order Rebel Leaders GSD now on Amazon.
So what inspired writing Rebel Leaders GSD? Check out a reason why HERE